I've written two spec feature scripts, and I am in a second draft of a third. Taking a break from it, because the next script will be "Death Rides a Pale Horse".
On the break, I went over the possible story structures in my head wanting to try and confirm what ending to go with.
It's not easy.
One of the troubles I have is that I like to write big. I try to limit it to what is possible, but I add a few grand things that only someone with a bit higher budget could produce. With "Death Rides a Pale Horse" I plan to produce it on a budget of $2,500 to $5,000.
That's small. But I know the camera and have gotten better at audio, and I know script writing, just not how to damp down my ideas for my actual budget.
How do I fit what I want to do within my budget? The actors I can limit, the crew I can limit, but the way I have been writing specs will complicate how much I limit. I know how to do it, but my process and my limited knowledge would become a roadblock.
So, I went to AI chat. Not to write it for me but to see, in desperation, if it had any budget-friendly ideas or advice in ways to write my story.
Could it give me suggestions?
Yes, it could and did in seconds of me asking it the dang thing spit it out like a sneeze. I'm going to post my questions and all of what it gave. Ignore my typos, if ChatGP can, so can you.
First, I'll give you in a nutshell what was in my head then let you read ChatGPT's discussion with me. In conclusion, I will write about what structure I am leaning towards. Keep in mind I am only feeling things out before writing it while on break from another. This way I can get right into it when ready.
Going into this I had the story as a revenge plot line, a young couple's home is invaded, and the woman goes on a vigilante's killing spree in Mississippi. The audience would not know if it was the husband or the wife until the end. I also had it as a detective story with the wife's father being a detective who is suspected of the killings himself as he investigates. By the end of her killing spree, he realizes it is his daughter committing the murders. How that dynamic works would be interesting for me to explore.
It still is.
In all of this, there is a white sports car or just a white car. It will be the pale horse. I don't know if I will use a brand name car or come up with something myself any using a fictional logo on a white vehicle. Maybe I'll use lighting to hide the make and model. That I have not decided on. However, after the following conversation with ChatGP, the unpaid version, I'm leaning a certain way on how to write it to fit an under $5,000 budget.
The conversation between me and ChatGPT follows:
You said: I've written 2 feature-length screenplays. I am in the middle of finishing a second draft of my third feature screenplay. My fourth screenplay I want to produce myself. I want to write it with a low budget in mind, because like I said, I want to do it myself. The title is "Death Rides a Pale Horse" and it is set in modern times with the killer driving a white car. Just out of curiosity could you help write it? I'm curious because of the budget. Maybe with help, I can trim down the budget. I write my scripts as if I have no budget in mind.
ChatGPT said: That’s awesome that you’ve written multiple feature-length screenplays already! It’s also great to hear you’re diving into producing your own work — a very exciting challenge. With a low-budget project in mind like "Death Rides a Pale Horse," I can definitely help trim things down. The good thing about writing with budget constraints is that you can create a much more streamlined, intimate, and character-driven story, which can have a big impact on the screen without needing extravagant settings or effects.
Here’s how we could start thinking about trimming the budget and working through the script:
1. Location Limitations
Since you're aiming for low budget, keeping the number of locations limited will save a lot of money.
Example: A white car being central to the plot could lead to the action happening in a few key locations (e.g., inside the car, in a single town or neighborhood, etc.).
You can also use the environment to reflect the tone, like gritty or atmospheric places (maybe abandoned spots, quiet streets, or confined spaces that can add suspense without needing a lot of variety).
2. Minimal Cast
Fewer speaking roles can significantly cut costs. Focus on creating compelling, well-developed characters that will carry the story, instead of having a large cast.
Example: You could have the killer as the primary antagonist with a few victims or witnesses. If there’s an investigation, you could keep the detective role minimal, focusing on one or two key investigators or even just the killer’s psyche and the tension surrounding them.
3. Practical Effects & Limited Action
Rather than big action scenes, focus on suspense and psychological tension. Build up the threat of the killer in smaller, more intimate moments.
Example: The "pale horse" could metaphorically represent death or impending doom, rather than needing a literal horse. The white car can be your metaphorical vehicle of death — maybe it’s always in the background, creating a sense of dread.
Simple and effective horror/thriller sequences (like stealthy approaches or ambiguous moments where the audience isn't sure what’s happening) could work well without requiring expensive stunts or effects.
4. Tone & Dialogue-Driven Story
Focus on creating an eerie or suspenseful atmosphere rather than expensive set pieces or special effects.
Tight, impactful dialogue can do a lot of the heavy lifting in terms of tension.
5. Keeping It Cinematic With What You Have
You can have interesting camera work and lighting even on a budget. Creative use of shadows, angles, and framing can turn minimal locations into powerful cinematic experiences.
Example: If the car plays a key role in the story, you can focus on the vehicle as an ominous character in itself, with reflections, eerie shots, and an evolving visual presence that tells its own story.
To get more specific with the script, I’d be happy to brainstorm some scenes, develop the characters, or dive into a particular part of the screenplay.
Would you like to brainstorm some opening scenes or discuss the main conflict and characters in more detail? I can help with ideas and structure based on what you're envisioning.
You said: Content removed. This content may violate our usage policies. (This is where I mentioned the home invasion at the beginning. The attackers drive the white car to the home. Later when the wife is on a killing spree, she steals the white car and drives it around as she visits her victims. Also, I mention the ending where she and her father may kill the last one in the similar way she was attacked. Bringing the story around to how the main characters are changed due to the crime going unpunished by the community. ChatGPT did not post it, but it did give me an answer)
ChatGPT said: Wow, that’s a really compelling concept! The emotional depth of the revenge story, combined with the twisted irony, gives it a lot of layers that could make for an intense, impactful film. You’re right that the low-budget potential here is strong because you're focusing more on psychological tension, character dynamics, and a small set of locations — all of which will help you keep costs down. Let’s dig deeper into your ideas and see how we can structure this effectively while maximizing the impact.
Key Themes to Explore:
Transformation through Trauma: The idea of how violence can transform a victim into something unrecognizable is really powerful. It allows you to explore the psychological consequences of trauma, vengeance, and moral ambiguity.
Irony and Revenge: The full circle you mentioned — the killer using the same methods against the perpetrators who harmed her — is a great way to engage the audience’s moral compass and keep them questioning the ethics of the vigilante.
Father/Daughter Dynamic: The father being a detective adds emotional weight, especially when he realizes his daughter is the killer. This can lead to a complex relationship dynamic where, as a father, he wants to protect her, but as a detective, he is sworn to uphold the law.
Structure and Budget Considerations:
Opening:
Set the tone: You could start with an ominous scene that doesn’t show the killer but hints at the violence — like the white car arriving in the distance, or the sound of the engine echoing, creating a sense of dread. This builds tension without needing to show much.
Introduce the victims: You could open with the first murder or the aftermath of the attack. Focus on the emotional impact on the victims’ families and the detective (father), using close-ups and intimate dialogue to keep the cost low.
Building Suspense:
The White Car: Use the white car as a constant symbol, something that haunts the scenes even before it’s directly involved in the killings. Maybe it’s parked at the victims' locations, or it appears in the background of certain moments. It’s a presence that builds tension.
Murder Scenes: Since you're working on a low budget, these can be more atmospheric and psychological rather than big action sequences. The murders could be shown mostly in shadow, or with brief, chilling glimpses of the car's headlights or tires, creating a slow-burn sense of dread before the actual act.
Victim Character Development: You can create tension by revealing brief moments about the victims and their lives, making their deaths feel more personal. This can be done in small, impactful ways without elaborate scenes or sets.
The Detective and His Daughter:
Conflict: The father investigating the murders while unknowingly dealing with his own daughter’s secret adds a layer of drama. As a detective, he might have a sense of guilt or responsibility for not being able to prevent these kinds of violent crimes in the community.
Father-Daughter Revelation: The twist where he discovers she’s the killer could be handled with tension-filled dialogue and subtle reveals — maybe he finds something at one of the crime scenes that ties her to it. There doesn’t need to be a huge showdown; a quiet, intense moment of realization could be far more impactful.
Final Murder: The fact that the father helps with the final killing is a powerful and tragic moment. It’s the culmination of his internal struggle — does he prioritize justice and law, or does he understand and condone his daughter’s actions due to his own failure to prevent the violence?
The Ironic Ending:
The White Car as Symbol: The idea that she “styles” the car after the first victim’s car is fantastic. This is a strong visual and thematic element — the car becomes a symbol of both the crime and the retribution. It’s a symbol that transforms from an instrument of victimization into an instrument of vengeance.
Full Circle: The end of the film could juxtapose the killer's revenge against the backdrop of the detective father’s realization. Maybe there’s a moment where he’s forced to make the same choice his daughter did, leading to a tragic moral conclusion about justice and revenge.
How to Keep It Low-Budget:
Locations: Limit your locations to a few key settings. Most of the action can take place in tight, controlled environments (a house, a few neighborhood streets, police offices). The white car can act as the central visual motif that unites the locations.
Special Effects: As you said, avoid big, expensive set pieces. Instead, lean on sound design and atmosphere. Build tension through the anticipation of the car’s arrival, or the feeling of claustrophobia in scenes with the detective and his daughter. The use of shadows, lighting, and close-ups can help create suspense without expensive equipment.
Casting: Keep the cast small. Focus on the father and daughter, with one or two other key roles (the victims, the fiancé, and maybe a small team of police). You can flesh out the victims’ backstory through dialogue or small visual cues rather than long, elaborate sequences.
Character and Plot Development:
The Killer (Daughter):
Her transformation is central. Maybe show glimpses of her vulnerability before she snaps — flashes of trauma, moments where she relives the attack, making the audience empathize with her pain and gradually understand her shift toward violence.
Her interactions with the detective father could be both tender and strained. She might downplay her emotions, creating a sense of unease.
The Father (Detective):
He’s a man who believes in the law but also feels guilty for the failures of the justice system. His moral conflict will drive the story.
Perhaps he’s a detective who’s been struggling with an increasing sense of helplessness in his job. The city’s corruption or the crime rate running rampant could be a key subplot, leading him to question what justice really means.
The Victims:
You don’t need to show the full backstory of each victim, but make sure each murder feels earned and has emotional weight. Show their connection to the killer in some way — maybe they were part of her past, or they were the ones who changed her forever.
The Final Killing:
The father’s involvement in the final act could be tragic and subtle. Perhaps he doesn’t know she’s the killer until it’s too late, or he tries to stop her but ultimately helps in some way that suggests a moral collapse.
What do you think of these ideas? Do you feel these themes and suggestions are helping shape the story you're imagining? Would you like to dive deeper into specific scenes or character moments?
You said: it was a screenplay. (This was my answer as soon as I had seen it remove my statement earlier, when I mentioned the home invasion. ChatGPT answered the above before I could remind it that the subject matter was from a screenplay)
ChatGPT said: Got it! Let’s focus on how to shape your "Death Rides a Pale Horse" screenplay. Based on the ideas you’ve given, we can start sketching out a structure for your screenplay that keeps the budget low while maintaining a strong narrative.
Basic Structure for Your Screenplay:
Opening (Act 1):
Setting the tone: You could open with a tense, atmospheric moment. The white car could be shown arriving ominously at a location (dark alley, quiet street, etc.), or its headlights cutting through the darkness. The victim doesn't realize what's coming. The scene could be brief, establishing an impending sense of doom.
Introduce the first victim: You don’t need an elaborate set for this. The victim could be someone from the killer’s past, someone who was part of the assault, and this attack leads to their death. Perhaps the victim doesn’t know they’re being targeted by someone they’ve wronged.
Introduce the father: The detective father might get involved with this first murder scene. He could be seen investigating, questioning witnesses, and feeling frustrated by the crime rates or his inability to prevent violence. This builds his guilt and internal conflict.
Building Suspense (Act 2):
Subtle reveals: Through the second murder, the white car continues to appear, almost like a ghost. It’s a symbol of death that lingers. Maybe the second murder happens in a similarly eerie location, and the killer's method becomes clearer (but still not revealed entirely). The father is investigating these cases and starts becoming suspicious, maybe noting that something feels personal about the murders.
Character development: You can give us brief, intimate moments between the father and daughter. He’s worried about her, but there’s an underlying tension — maybe she's too quiet, too guarded, and he doesn’t know why. You don’t need big, extravagant scenes — just simple, small moments where their relationship shows cracks.
The daughter’s transformation: The audience begins to understand the daughter’s emotional state. You can do this through subtle hints: maybe she’s starting to lose her temper in ways she didn’t before. Perhaps she isolates herself or has nightmares about the attack. This deepens her character and makes the eventual reveal more poignant.
Midpoint (Plot Twist/Reveal) (End of Act 2):
The killer’s identity: At this point, the father could uncover a key piece of evidence that connects his daughter to the killings. A photograph, a small personal detail, or perhaps a conversation with someone who knew the daughter years ago. This is the point where the audience (and the father) realize who the killer is, but we haven’t fully understood her motivation yet.
The moral dilemma: The father knows his daughter’s actions are illegal, but now he must grapple with whether he understands them. Perhaps he feels sympathy for her, given the history, and is torn between his duty as a detective and his love as a father.
Climax (Act 3):
The final kill: The daughter prepares for the last murder — the person who wronged her most, the final piece of the revenge puzzle. The father, torn and confused, ends up either helping her, enabling her, or reluctantly being complicit in some way.
The irony of the car: As the final victim dies, it becomes clear that the white car, once used to perpetrate the initial crime, has now become a symbol of vengeance. The daughter has "styled" the car after the first victim’s vehicle — this is her way of embodying the cycle of violence.
The father’s choice: In the final moments, the father might express regret or disbelief, but it’s too late to stop the cycle. Maybe he even helps her in a crucial moment, sealing their tragic fates. The ending is meant to show how violence perpetuates itself — the transformation of the victim into the aggressor.
Ending (Resolution):
Closure and irony: After the last killing, you could have a brief, haunting shot — maybe the detective father staring at the white car, knowing what has happened, or a final reflection on the cycle of violence. The film could end with a muted, somber tone, leaving the audience with a lingering sense of moral complexity and loss.
Scene-by-Scene Breakdown:
Opening Scene (First Murder):
Location: A quiet suburban street at night. The headlights of the white car cut through the darkness.
Action: The first victim is ambushed, perhaps while returning home, walking to their car, or in an isolated location. We see only brief, chilling glimpses of the killer and the car. The actual killing is mostly implied through atmosphere and sound.
Father’s Role: The detective father arrives on the scene, already familiar with the circumstances. He begins his investigation, finding little that makes sense.
Second Murder:
Location: Could be a similar setting — somewhere dark, where the white car is again lurking.
Action: This time, the killer’s actions are slightly more deliberate. The father investigates but begins to notice patterns.
Daughter’s Subtle Hints: Maybe the daughter reacts strangely to news of the second murder. She seems too calm or too distant.
Midpoint Reveal (Daughter is the Killer):
Key Moment: The father finds something — a piece of evidence (perhaps a small item or a connection from the first murder) that leads him to realize the killer’s identity.
Daughter’s Confession or Realization: In a quiet, tense moment, the daughter might confess or indirectly reveal her involvement.
Climactic Final Murder:
Location: A location that feels familiar — a reflection of the first traumatic event. The white car is now a symbol of retribution.
Action: The father’s role here is key — does he stop her? Does he help her? The final victim's death is cathartic but tragic.
Visual Cue: Maybe we see the daughter driving the white car, with the same violent purpose. This is where the car becomes symbolic.
Final Scene:
Location: A quiet, reflective moment with the father and daughter. Maybe a shot of the car parked, the headlights off, and a somber silence hanging in the air.
Resolution: A final, poignant shot — the cycle is complete. The father is left to contemplate the consequences of the vengeance, the cost of what has been done, and the unspoken understanding between him and his daughter.
Final Notes:
Low-Budget Elements:
Focus on character-driven scenes. Dialogue and intimate moments will do a lot of the heavy lifting.
Locations should be simple, but impactful — homes, a detective’s office, dark streets, etc.
The white car is a strong visual metaphor that you can keep at the center of the story, allowing you to tell a lot without needing expansive sets or effects.
Would you like help with drafting any specific scenes or dialogue to get started? Or is there any other element you want to explore further in the script?
You said: This all helps a lot. I think the first victim's fingerprints could come back to show he was one of them at the detective's daughter's home invasion. When first checked there was no match. But when they checked the first murdered guy, they came back as being one of them found at her home invasion crime. I appreciate the help. Can I save this advice to a folder?
ChatGPT said: I’m so glad the advice has been helpful for you! I think the idea of the first victim’s fingerprints coming back as one of the attackers from the home invasion is an excellent twist — it ties the mystery to her past in a clever, suspenseful way.
As for saving the advice to a folder, I can’t directly create or store folders for you, but I can help by providing a summary or the key points in a text format that you can copy and save to your own files. Here’s a condensed version of the ideas we’ve discussed so far:
"Death Rides a Pale Horse" Screenplay Notes:
Theme:
Exploring the transformation of a victim into an avenger.
The cycle of violence and how trauma can change people, particularly the protagonist.
Moral ambiguity of vigilante justice.
Plot Structure:
Act 1: Opening with the first murder (ominous white car), introducing the detective father and his investigation.
Act 2: Building suspense with a subtle reveal of the killer’s identity. The white car becomes a symbol of death and vengeance. Character development of the daughter, showing her emotional state and transformation.
Midpoint: The father uncovers evidence linking the first victim to the daughter’s traumatic past (fingerprints matching one of the attackers from the home invasion).
Act 3: The father realizes his daughter is the killer. The final revenge is executed. The father helps her with the last killing, leading to tragic irony where the white car mirrors the first victim’s car. The film ends with a reflection on the consequences of revenge and the cycle of violence.
Key Budget Considerations:
Locations: Keep the locations minimal (e.g., the house, a few streets, a police office).
Action: Focus on psychological tension rather than large action scenes.
Special Effects: Rely on atmosphere, sound, and lighting to create suspense.
Cast: Limit the number of characters — mainly the detective father, the daughter, a few victims, and perhaps a small team of police.
Symbolism of the White Car:
The white car is used by the attackers in the home invasion and becomes the central object of vengeance for the daughter.
The car is styled to resemble the one from the home invasion, representing the twisted justice and full-circle nature of the plot.
You can copy and paste this into your preferred note-taking or writing software (like Google Docs, Word, or a writing app) and keep it saved for reference. Let me know if you’d like any more details or additional help as you move forward with writing the screenplay!
You said: thanks
ChatGPT said: You're very welcome! I'm really glad I could help. Best of luck with your screenplay, and if you need anything else along the way — whether it's more advice, brainstorming, or just bouncing ideas around — feel free to reach out. You've got this!
In Conclusion: First, I still need to go through it and see what else I could use, but I am not writing it using all of the suggestions. I did like the aspect of using the car more, especially to set up ominous scenes. It will also help reduce the budget by allowing me to set up scenes without using people. I liked the idea of streamlining the plot by using fewer characters. Focusing on the wife, or who I choose by the time I write it will allow a more internal struggle to be shown without using a lot of locations or extra characters. It will also help me write it in such a way I automatically don't drift off writing the way I am used to in the spec scripts. I am considering focusing on the wife and father's dynamic. Limit the murder victims to 3 and have them in isolated areas.
Thank you for reading and when I get it more fleshed out, I will post again keeping you updated. I have another webpage called Eskripts.com. It will have my scripts up there where you can read the first ten pages for free. I have two screenplays on it now but finishing a third. "Death Ride a Pale Horse" is the fourth. I currently plan to shoot it myself.
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